we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
