My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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