the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
not ubering you a puppy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
