So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
