Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want you more than these girls want KFC
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
