Moan for me like Helen Keller
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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