Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Buhtt sex?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm too high and old for this...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize