no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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