OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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