Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
