you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
