Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
