she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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