Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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