If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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