Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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