i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize