Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
