I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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