i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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