But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
