I have demons in me.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize