nutella sex= disaster
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
