She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
