I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
