I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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