We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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