i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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