You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
