Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
