Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
