I'm gonna have a badass scar
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
