I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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