Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
