Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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