did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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