You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
