dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
