I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
