we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
