found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
