Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
