hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
