it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
