Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
