i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
