Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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