So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
