I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Still dying that you shit outside
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
