I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
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Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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