It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize