Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
