okay pat passed out under dana's car
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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