sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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