I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
