it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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