you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
