his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
