I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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